As Easter approaches, it is full of mixed emotions for me. Good Friday is on April 10 this year which is an important date for me personally. A very heartbreaking day...A day that has changed the whole course of my life. My grandfather died. It's been 14 years, but it feels like it's only been 14 hours most of the time. The pain is unbelievably real and it's still there. I've always heard that time heals all wounds, but not this one.

My Grandfather was a phenomenal person. He was well known all over town. You can't find someone from his generation or the one before or after his that doesn't know him, hasn't danced to his music (he used to be the leader of a big band) or been touched by his work with the Shriner's Hospital for Crippled Children (he was a Potentate, the highest honor a Shiner can have). He was amazing. My best memories as a child include him. I was talking to Chris yesterday about this little dump he used to take me to from the time I was 3 until the day he couldn't travel anymore. By the looks of this place you would have thought he was the most poor person on earth, but he wasn't, he just loved this place. I caught my first fish there on Lake Ouchita with my Snoopy rod and reel. I guess he's where my love of all things fishing come from. He took me to the finest restaurants in town and pretty much everywhere he went. He lived two doors down for most of my life and when we were waiting for the bus, he would stand in his yard in boxers and a tshirt dancing...It was hilarious. He was the greatest man I ever knew. He loved me...ALWAYS and he was the only one.

The day he died, I died. My heart was broken into 100 million pieces and even today it is still missing a few. I find it ironic that he is sharing the date of his death with Jesus this year. It's almost as if God is letting me know in His most gracious way, that although my heart still aches, still wishes that just ONCE Grandpa could hold my child, all is not lost. We will meet again and when we do, he will not be suffering, gasping for his every breath. Although I hated God when my grandfather died (and told Him so many times), God is still being gracious and merciful enough to let me know that Grandpa died a physical death, but he is alive and well in Heaven with my Jesus waiting to meet me there. So this year as I reflect on the solemness of the day my Savior died and the anniversary of my grandfather's death, I can be reminded that both have risen thanks to a Man who loved me enough to die an agonizing death, for someone who hated all He stood for the day my grandfather died, so that I may be reunited with Him and my grandfather one day. Praise the Lord for His grace, mercy and UNCONDITIONAL love.